Its a Long Long Journey.....

Heaven's eye was watching me again today, beneath the hot sunny sky; sweat dripping from my forehead and back, somehow i felt alive. Heat-waves rising not far just above the surface, that hissing sound from trees every-time a small warm breeze came by. The road ahead seemed silent, not even a sight of any vehicles passing by; i was alone. Songs playing over and over in my head, accompanying my long way home. I can't remember how long has it been since i dreamt of having a friend beside me, walking this path of mine. Venture the roads beyond and maybe until our feets become weary, no matter what lies ahead, the bond shared between us never fails. Oh, i had wished and dreamed of that. Yet, all i only have is my dark inner self, and that imaginary friend who stood with me through times. Seeing those yellow lines crossing beneath my feet, tucked comfortably in the warm afternoon sensation; thoughts a million miles, again. For times i've never stayed in one place for long, therefore memories come not enough a time for it to form, at least stay memorable. I was never in one place; walking that long long road in life, searching for lost pieces of myself that i left in one place and another; forgotten. 

"A book lies beneath the sky,

Time and men came to past,

Yet none came to notice a ply.

A tomb engraved in riddles;

though many men seek to solve,

but only with death's giggles.

The clouds and Rain that pours,

the greens and life that grows;

yet Only lies beneath the feet's tour.

Road long lies ahead,

Empty with a weary heart;

yearning not for a bed under head.

Reasons not heed by others,

and a water flows complex,

without the pity of some lovers....."

Of Light And Sound

Coming yet into senseless moods while i tried hard to at least crap something out of that empty skull. Staring at my chemistry paper wasn't all that bad, not until it was physics. Somehow it seems that i have the sudden interest to write stories, well then again i wrote stories my whole life. There were of course many failed stories forced into discontinuation. "I don't know, i figured whatever it is doesn't matter. As long as im happy!" i was amazed hearing that from my friend, though expected. Everyone's getting older by the day, which reminds me, this is how memories are formed. My friend was telling me today, about him going to miss everything after all this is over. Ya, had to agree with him, those times good or bad, we will remember them kept in form of memories. Weird, my thoughts constricted today. Im at an inability to write something long, maybe its that long awaited afternoon nap, companied so effectively with Jazz playing in the background. I can't help feeling the urge to drink a cup of tea, and sigh at the clear blue skies. Yet all i had was a tiring sleep; fighting a tiring war in my unexpected dream. Explains why i felt so constricted today, maybe because its Maths tomorrow. I absolutely hate it when it comes to calculations, makes me feel like a terrorist trying hard to terrorize myself. Either way, im really lazy today.....really....

Somethings changing...

The night or morning sent my head spinning, serves me right for sleeping at 5. It was neither sleepiness or the head spinning effect; i wasn't sure, but i was in-fact restless. The air-condition in my room chilled the room to a breathtaking 16' C. The usual me with just boxers thought i had entered a man-made ice age. The moment i laid my restless body onto my bed, my eyes strained wide open. My mind was being invaded once again, the sound of war drums and horns. I was back 4 years ago; in my homeland. Paralyzed and only thoughts possesses mobility, i entered every piece of memory kept deep in my mind; once thought to be forgotten. I saw myself as a little boy, saw that kiddish face of mine, every steps aloft the pavement. Oh i remember that feeling; those were the days, those were the days. Throughout my years in life, there wasn't a time without its mishaps. Maybe thats how life makes one learn. Its funny how your thoughts can just run when your walking home. From time to time, i would look up to the sky wondering what tomorrow would be like.  Those many recurrence in life, sometimes i remember it this way and sometimes i remember it another. I heard the birds sing before dawn, the crickets play before dark; many times i heard things as well as seen things, but yet i can't remember when was the last time i saw a bird flew free in the sky, an ant working hard to maintain its colony. Proves nevertheless i've always turn a deaf ear to things around me, turn a blind eye to everything around me. Just like a passing boat moving with the river flow; unaware of its surroundings yet only aware of where its headed. 

I still remember that green ranger action figure that companied me through many storms and calms as well as that time where i lost it somehow, and took up a new friend as my companion in life.Things went on and on, up and down. Many virginity were lost there, as well as a lot of ships went down there. They say, make a trip around the world and it can change your point of view upon the this world. I miss the days when i was still a child, worries were nowhere near, as well as those many thoughts that never seem ending. But one must grow up eventually, whatever thats lost or gain makes up the balance that supports the flow of life. Hey, chang; i've grown up now, i don't need you anymore.  Its about time i stop running and face myself. The self that i hated and been running away all my life. Something really is changing; im keeping my fingers crossed.....

 

The morning breeze cooled my skin as i took that cold hard air into my lungs, breathing out of my sleepiness. All i could remember was that unexpected 6.30 call. I wanted to take my bike though, eventually i remembered its being locked up at the back thanks to dad's security purposes.  

The cars whooshed by like nobody's business, although it felt like those recent happenings slipping pass one by one, and now im seeing them in form of cars, lorries alike. Not that i liked it though, and doesn't mean i hate it. The feelings neutral, i understand all so perfectly its just part of life. Sitting by the window pane, many walked past strangely; so many different moods. Then i began to wonder, what about mine?

I took my order to fill my morning call, that aroma was enough to make me drool. It never did occur to me not until that day, that somehow i realized i was in love with the morning sun. Being watched under the eye of heaven; knowing that it feels kinda safe doesn't it? In the worlds clockwork, things just work and work and work, everyones with ya; come to think of it; you won't be feeling that loneliness much. Im living in a world filled with many other humans just like me. Yes im safe yet in a crazy world.

I furnished my day with a thick book of chemistry, trying hard to stuff impossible data into my head in an overly short amount of time. Im not so sure of the results, cause the moment i opened my chemistry paper, i felt like throwing it in the bin; i felt useless. Many hours i took liberty in day dreams, staring at beautiful's. I can't believe mickey mouse is the only thing i could remember after all that studying especially when they ask of atoms. Of Ebony and Ivory, my time of youth seems wasted bathing in dreams of bright morning sun; i ought to do something before i turn grey in the eyes of heaven....

Feelings; hate them

Pity upon the eyes of heaven,
though times these tears fell
Dark is the sky filled with Ravens,
I saw a heart crowned king in holiest hall
Many say men turn their souls,
Their faces changing like liquid flow
The differences between friend or foe,
Lies hidden beneath the cocks crow....