Suteki Da Ne?

Living in a world ever passing so harshly yet unknowingly, time and time again; breathing the same air everyday; living our lives under the same sky. The night yet ever so silent, embracing the winds that brush coldly on our window panes. Times and places share a same bond that captures our memories. Whether memories of happiness or sadness, through good or bad, with friends or solitude; they will always be there. Time and time again, present will fade into memories.

How can we preserve the elements we used to look back in our book of memories. Make it last, live not just in memories but in the present too. Nothing last forever, eternity is a lie. But, at least we tried to enjoy every last moment of it. Are these effort not enough to bring back the good old times. The laughter we used to share? The tears we used to shed? I had always imagine myself in a world of nothing but pure imagination, a place of dreams. Where friendships really meant well. Things that do last, and choices that determines how it will be. A world where fate is entirely in our hands. You choose to be what you want to be. Of course, you will have to work for it; still through this times, these experiences, it will be the memories we may one day look back TOGETHER and share the same laughter.; and continue making them.

Playing RPGs like Final Fantasy has always been my main reason and energy as to why friends are part of my flame. The characters in the story share a bond so strong that it is in-fact touching. I finally realized the reason behind Final Fantasy's fame; apart from all the vast game-play and world designs, its the story-line that captures us; whether or not, consciously or subconsciously. The times they shared throughout the story-line, the bond the had; truly truly amazing. No wonder its a fantasy; cause true lasting friendships like this is nothing more than just a fantasy. Its existence is present only in dreams.

Friends, Suteki Da Ne?

Safe in a Crazy World. .

What is going on with the world recently? Things certainly are going way off point. Lines of the intimidated. What more can i give? Everyones just moving and behaving like devils nowadays, where has our morales gone to? HAve we exchanged the hearts of pure with hearts of the great deep?

Have we no shame? Yet things are still continue-ing. Its like we're taking the long detour towards honor. Well through shame that is. After edison chen's incident. Lotsa weird weird stuffs starting to happen. WHY LAH! Don't know why, been feeling so much anger recently. Its like its about to explode any moment. Or worst its leaking, and revolving around me, taking form of my other self. My darker unknown self. IM just so paranoid of tall the things around me. Skpped school today for that reason and mainly because i wasnt feeling well. I mean who would when you have to faced FUCKED up ppl everyday. And hear their god forsaken voices.

im trying so hard to get a good look on how things are going to be and going on. BUt its seems that sometimes there are stuff in which it is impossible grasped. Things which are inevitable. I just feel so UGH!! lately. Wana kill everyone around me. ARGH! What am i doing lah? so... weird im acting so weird.

Anyways, just though of this new character for my story. Hmm a very cool guy, doesn't talk much. Has a younger brother following him everywhere he goes. They are orphans apparently. They are the survivors of a very sad past. His younger brother is usually blindfolded while his other brother does all the killing, as he doesn't his brother to see the blood of his enemies or something. ITs still a very draft idea. will finalize him soon. very soon.

Met up with kenn the other day. Hmm, gee his quite cute actually. I don't know. Maybe things are finally starting to change? who knows god knows...

Valentines with bottled up Feelings.

February 14th; a day celebrated and loved by all. A day to share love among friends. But somehow today seem like a day of bottled up feelings, feelings that were kept bottled up since way back. Speaking of which its been 2 days since Lam went to aust. Really weird not seeing him around in school; seeing him disturbing gals during recess. Ahh, been two days yet still theres no news.

Whenever i walk past his class, i was so hoping to hear his voice; his laughter and all. Its just so weird to have that feeling. To have someone leave. Though i don't really know him well; still his a good friend, a very good one indeed. Saying goodbye really is the hardest word. I would never forget that day, the day of many partings; February 12th. Dramatic it was in the airport. Went round the airport doing crazy stuff; cam whoring here and there. After we said our final goodbyes. exchanged hugs and there he went, down the escalator and we were chasing him from above. Running and running as he walked into the custom. Was actually holding my tears then, really wanted to cry but i can't afford to let him see my tears. It wasn't because its embarrassing, but because if he were to see, then saying goodbye would be even harder for him and maybe for us. Well. Sarah cried apparently, cant blame her though, as everyone was already on the verge of crying too.

After that day; it was back to school all over again. Things seemed normal at least. Except of course; Lam. Its amazing and sometimes saddening as to how things progresses in life. Things tend to change so sudden and dramatically. Sometimes its sickening.

Today in class, i felt really annoyed, pissed and angry. Mainly at myself or at someone. I can't believe i've been so stupid. There are times when you tired so hard and give so much to a person but in return they don't even at least PRETEND that they appreciate. They made it as if its what you should be doing. Sometimes you just try so hard to be a friend, in the end your just a trend. Something of no importance; that will change and disappear through time. Its just so DISGUSTING and IRRITATING to be in such situations. You just feel like destroying everything; "COME LETS BLOW HIM UP!" such seductive lines floating gently in my mind.

Why lah, do people have BIG EGO-es <------ ITs just so sickening. Typical teenagers; trying so hard to be cool. They think they ARE cool; they think they ARE everything. So FULL of themselves SO naive. Why, can't i just find a life time bud? DAMN!

Happy valentines everyone! Well today really is a valentine full of bottled up feelings. Will update soon with pictures of our airport expedition!

Here comes pressure all over.

Sometimes you just get all emo and feel like slitting your throat or your wrist, with all that amount of blood rushing out through your cut like tap water; maybe just maybe it could help. Schools starting, new year's holiday is up. Its now time to WORK WORK WORK. Aww never liked schools to begin with; considering the different different varieties of people ou have to face everyday. There are times where you just feel like locking yourself in your room; with your radio turned on LOUD! And possibly just stare into space, or what they call emo the whole bloody day.

Free-will's a powerful thing or maybe just too powerful? Decisions sometimes drives people nuts! But still what really drives people through the wall aint all this, but PEOPLE themselves!! The horror the pressure the sickness of it; sometimes you just get so tired. I don't know why, somehow i just don't feel like going back to school, especially now. I don't know why? Or maybe i DO know. I had thought this year to be a great year, or rather expected it to be. But noooooooooo; the tides are turning. I cant help but to carry some sort of a "OMG! SOMETHINGS GONNAA HAPPEN!" kinda feeling inside of me; turning everything upside down. Maybe im just being sensitive? But i thought it was human's nature to be sensitive?

Im happy, im not happy and im happy AGAIN and then not!! Blah blah blah, it goes on and on. OR maybe im just a coward; facing yet fearing. Fear is good; it causes you to tremble the warriors tremble. But why? Can i not have emotions? at least for a day? Just a day?

Im lost; really lost. There maybe just too many things for me to think about; to do; to settle. just so many.......

A day in CARREFOUR!

Spent a day in carrefour earlier today, with wai lam of course. MWahaha crazy crazy day. Suffice to say im now at his hse, and its around 12.33am in the morning, and if im able to blog at this time then surely i have a computer right in front of me right? lol i know i know, the last time i check i havent yet got my comp so TA DA here i am, spending the night over with wai lam.

The day was spent drifting torlleys down in carrefour, qhich of course attracted many queer eyes. Crazy running about trying to cath each other was rather fun, at least it made me felt young ONCE AGAIN!! MWahahaha i mean really really young lol.

HAiz, just so weird that after all this; there wont be any of that anymore. His going away. As mention on my earlier post, his the one friend thats going off to australlia for good. MAn, goodbye really is the hardest and saddest word. Cant there be a hello thereafter again?

Imagine, you're talking with someone today and hang out and it was really really fun, a few days later. HIs not there anymore. I know its not as if his dead but im sure gona miss his prersence. Well im preparing something for his farewell. SOmething memorable. that he can see eveyrtime when he misses the memories he had here. MOre to say a recollection of everything, well maybe not EVERYTHING; but everything to what i have.

Well, today i really really really felt what it was like being in his family. HAha, or what it was like being him. Man, the emptiness is catching up upon me. There will always be a time when we have to part. ITs the Day of many partings, once again. Firends come and go as they say, but no way. Go or not, he will always remain a wonderful bro to me. Love ya mate! GO BECOME AND AUSSIE BUT DONT GET STING BY A STINGRAY JUST LIKE STEVEN IRWIN! Mwahahahahahahahah i knnow.. aww man seriously gonna miss him man. Well i hope there will come a time for partings and many many many many reunions!

ALl the best to you mate! AYE AYE!