LIfe in KL

Days that fly and dance like Rain

Water dripping from the pipes, the sound gave head a little twitch. The happenings of day made my head turn in may. I just love the way people live and talk. For some that loves and fell in love, their lives as sweet as honey with filled surprises. Sitting by the comp, the light from the screen reminds me yet blinded me a little of the numbness in life. Im numb afterall, maybe my dream is to be an anarchist.  Live a life bound to no rules, a life of total freedom...

I don't know, my hands are tied...

Seriously, sometimes i just try to take things easy. Smiling my way through things but still, things are just hard sometimes. This will be the first time, i write something about my life thats really private. Well guys, if your reading this, i would really appreciate that you could just read this over with a smile; and then forget about it.

Sometimes i just wish that i was born in a rather more simple family. Having a brother whose a bit special changed things a lot. Seriously, a brother whose really dependent on people; Im really really pressured sometimes. After-all, Im the eldest and it is my responsibility to take care of him. Not just for now, but in the future as well, throughout his life. His different from other kids, he may not be normal compared to others but his heart is just the same. I know his struggling a lot, but somehow he has shaped our family in many ways. I feel so tied up somehow, not to say Im selfish but sometimes i just feel like breaking down. Yet from time to time, i just wish he or i didn't exist. As you all may know, i have a very very bad temper, although its not easy for me to lose it but i just feel like i don't know, i can't say it.  why? Why can't i have a normal brother? Things are really difficult, there are so many things i can't share with people, since i was brought up in an environment where things are meant to be kept only to oneself. I have no choice. 

A roller coaster ride, i faced tremendous dramatic ups and downs. But Im still standing, I just don't know what Im feeling anymore. On one hand, my mum wants me to follow my dreams, but somehow i know i can't; cause i have my bro to take care of; my dreams requires me to travel a lot, touching a lot of people; possibly not much pay at all. I don't know, theres so many things i wana do, but when i thought of reality, BAM!! I just got a big tight slap in my face; i need to find something stable to do; not forgetting that i have a bro. 

I really hate the fact that i have a rather un-simple life, but sometimes.... haiz.  I love my family alot, really. Just that sometimes i need to let out what's inside my heart. My bro did his usual routine just now, lost my temper. haiz.... really im lost i don't know..... theres alot of things i don't know....haiz damn 

What's it like?

Im confused. Like water mixed with coke. The feelings gassy yet diluted. You can feel the bubbles burning your tongue yet it feels cool and wet at the same time. I've never done this kinda thing before, but is it right? Maybe things should have stayed unstated in the first place. I can't possibly describe this feeling, words failed me for the first time in my life yesterday. There is this overwhelming selfishness but somehow i know Im sober enough to know that. What is right? I know the answer but Im refusing to admit....And i really wonder what's it like if i really....nah nevermind....

PS

I seriously don't know

Late late night

My eyes are watering, its late now. 3:24 am in the morning, got an early day tomorrow yet im watching some dvd "all about TVXQ". Have to admit, really cute though. Oh ya, what was it that i wanted to write about again? Gosh, i can't remember. Well come to think of it,  i can't seem to remember things well lately. Why? I wish i knew. Im neither depressed nor sad. 

Really had fun today, went around the neighborhood under the bright afternoon sun after meeting. Speaking of which, i found some really awesome plot for the upcoming videos. 3 in total. Can't wait to shoot them. Oh ya, was speaking of walking around my neighborhood under the bright afternoon sun. Relived some moments, lifeless yet awesome lol.

I have a dance workshop tomorrow. Though im abit worried. Been a while since i last danced after that back injury. Although im back into dancing, i don't feel as active as last time. Its like i've started dancing all over again, from scratch. Hmm, somehow i feel rather pressured. Its like i lost my confidence every bit of it. ...

A city that never sleeps

I opened my eyes and as it slowly adjusted to the pure darkness, i could hear the steady ticking of the clock laying somewhere around me. The atmosphere felt still, in a room with no windows or doors nor even the slightest crack or gap on the wall that could have lighten up the room even just a little, granting hints to perhaps maybe a reason as to why i'm in a room filled with nothing but darkness; fear was closing in on me.

I tried to recall, though shutting my eyelids made no difference at this point; i wasn't sure whether they were shut or opened. Nothing came to my mind, it was blank though accompanied by slight pricking pain that felt like needles tickling at the back of my skull. 

*inspiration lost, to be continued......

Colorblind

Staring blankly at the screen hoping someone would P.M me wasn't what i was doing today, instead i was staring straight into space. The cooling atmosphere supposingly  from the weather these days re-assured me that i was still alive; still being able to feel that cooling breeze brushing across my face as lightning and thunder struck above. I have to face it, i was being emo, and still am. Almost all those that i talked to today, were all having issues of their own. My resentment encouraged my already emo mood even more; darkening. Taking a sip of my already cooled tea, i thought to myself; "what do i want?"  

Like the movement of waves, my feelings and confidence are always facing their ups and downs. I wana walk under the bright morning sun; traveling around my neighborhood and maybe i can find answers to the questions i don't even know. Finding myself lost at sea, not even certain of my own existence is the worst feeling ever. Im lost, but am I really lost? Cause, Im not even sure if i myself exist; if i don't exist, i cant be lost cause there won't be me to get lost.

1. Do you wish to get married?
Nope
2. What is your favourite animal?
Bird?
3. Who is the person you trust the most?
Myself
4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
No, its not stable
5. If you have a dream to come true, what would it be?
The world to end
6. Are you satisfied with yourself?
Not really
7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
Lose? I have nothing to lose
8. Do you believe in eternity love?
Nope, nothings permanent 
9. Have you broken someone's heart that he tried to commit suicide?
I don't think anyone would be that stupid to die for me XD
10. What do you like about yourself?
My thoughts
11. What are the requirements that you wish from the other half?
Understanding and mature
12. What feeling do you hate the most?
i try not to have feelings
13. Do you cherish every friendship of yours?
Yes but some are force to be broken
14. Do you treasure your family?
Yes
15. What do you dislike the most?
People
16. Who do you hope to be always there for you?
I dont need it
17. What do you regret most in life?
being alive
18. What kind of friends do you hope to be in your friend's eye?
Someone whose there but not there. There when u need them.
19. what's your favourite food?
Loads
20. Which date you like the most?
365.25 days a year, they are all the same.

I don't know

Was i disturbing, 

or was i being too stupid?

I still don't get it,

Why can't you just tell me why?

Things feel opposite;

Or maybe its just me,

What is going on? 

Was it things thats different

Or was it i?

I don't know;

I don't know,

Many times i just tried to get close,

but always ended up further,

And stranded with more whys.

Must i really say something?

Or should i just keep quiet? 

I seriously don't know. 

Im tired of sucking up,

Should i start standing up?

Im full of myself?

Ya i fooled myself, 

The truth is, 

I don't even have half myself.

I don't know,

I don't know.

I guess, one can never stay

For ones who left.

i seriously, seriously

don't know.....

A] People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
B] Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

Here are my answers:
#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be ?
Its not really betrayed, just that its over. 

#2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be ?

I don't really have anything that i want;

#3. What will your dream wedding be like ?
wedding? hmmph, im not planning to get married.

#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you ?
Not really, life can be quite simple if u can just break it down.

#5. What's your ideal lover like ?
Ideal lover? Seems impossible to find one for me.

#6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone ?
i think its about the same, loving someone is painful, so is being loved.

#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone u really love ?
Wait? loving someone doesnt mean you have to get them i guess thats how long.

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do ?
I cant do much, cause loving sumone doesnt mean you have to get them, all u want is for 

that person to be happy. thats all.

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days ?
Haha, funny question, if theres happiness theres surely unhappiness. Theres always a 

balance in things.

#10. What do you want most in life ?
What i want? Someone true?

#11. Is being tagged fun ?
i don't know. Maybe

#12. How do you see yourself in ten years time ?
Travelling here and there, entertaining people.

#13. Who is the current most important person to you ?
no-one.

#14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is ?
Great

#15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor ?
Single

#16. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be ?
a bird; free in the sky with no worries.

#17. What are one of those things which you would prefer not to do ?
Live a life;

#18. What kind of person do u think u are ?
crazy

#19. What do you define as a bad day ?
Evryday can be a bad day, depends on how u look at it. tats all

#20. If you have to choose between love (as in boy-girl relationships) and friendship, what would it be ?
Friendship

Emo- highness

All that merciless proposal writing are finally at and end. From here on proposal's would be history. No more sleepless nights worrying about not being able to complete proposals and documents all so for the sake of this world. Its the end.

Many times in life, have i not constantly wandered upon the face of silence; silence that brought coldness and emptiness. Walking upon the stairs of destiny, not knowing where one is going; up or down? Only the sisters of fate would know. Many believe destiny to be in thy hands; yet always played in the end. Was destiny in thy hands or were thy in Destiny's? Many have come to reason with life; the all so many things it brought upon; cratering with the hammer of all so called "Justice". Was justice meant to be given in place of judgement? Yet the question is not within thee. Ones who looked upon life in solitude receives more in reasons of thoughts; ones that proved of nothing but theories and mere rubbish. "Thou shall wait for Judgement" But who shall Judgement wait? 

Was it not meant for i to find thee? Long has i climbed this stairs of wait, when will it ever end or tell i where its headed. "The eagerness at heart brought silence and coldness thus the emo-highness....."

Crazy Past 2

Past 2 days, no actually the past whole week, ever since exam started. My eyes was closing up, slowly. The pressure wasn't actually affecting me without me realizing until now. Reflection was what i needed, where am i heading now? What do i wana do? Maybe, who knows. What ever im doing now ain't right. Thats what i thought, somehow. 

Lisza

She said hi on my first day of tuition. Then again, it was due to that "HI" that we started talking and ended here as we are, best friends. She is really a strong headed woman, to what i see, she knows how to handle her emotions pretty well, she has what i call a wise mindset. She knows when to let go and such, knows when to do things at the right time.  She came and celebrated my bdae with me, it was awesome, we sang our hearts out with all so emo songs. It was great, though as expected, something bad happened while two other friends was suppose to com as well, they bailed out last minute, and so i would have to pay for them. I didn't have cash that time and lisza offered to pay for me. All she did was smiled and said "its ok shawn, as a bdae treat!" I felt really bad having her to pay but at the same time touched. Shes really a great fren. 

We always have the crazy shout aloud sessions in tuition classes. Buying bread before and after classes. Bottomline is, shes really a wonderful friend, im so so so so lucky to have met you. Thank you lisza! keep smiling and ROCKING! lol

Sorry, yesterday post was just temporary.... lol

Happy Mothers Day!

ITs mother's day today. Took my mom out for dinner hitting our favorite Escargots in Victoria's. 

Drinks were awesome....

 

 When the bill came we realised that the price of the drinks we ordered was way awesome!

          My Mum n Dad 

 Heh! Splendid expression! Rock on MUM! Happy Mother's Day! Now get me an XBOX! XP

 

Physics, screwed 100%

Buds, that bloom?

The flowers destined to bloom,

       Yet some are soon to doom.

Hours bathe in morning dew,

Yet chances are so few

Why can't i just pretend,

things are just so tense...

Like a bird free in the sky,

ever knowing where it lies..

Then why some still lose it's way,

even before the sun starts the day.....

Dancing with the angels.

Its been quite a while since i last wrote something poet-ish. Well, i wonder if i've lost em XP.

The clouds gave way, 

more than ever to dominance of say.

there was light,

projecting in streams under night.

Drums echoed the air, 

while the wind embraces his hair.

It was Judgement,

many thought yet imminent.

the wind screamed in siren,

and the world was silent.

Brink of an end,

yet he has just begun. 

Under light,

There were many taking flight.

Many with wings,

that howled a decent sing.

They hovered low,

sweeping life as they go.

It was inevitable,

yet there was one who was able.

His steps combined a contrasting beat,

as he crossed the wing's with speed.

Steps light as light,

he put up a heartfelt fight.

Judgement took anger,

and proceeded to mangle.

Has he not done enough?

Or was he meant to bluff?

As judgment approached,

the world saw from angles,

a man who danced with the angels.

Judgement came upon with a sword,

that took his heart naught.

"Judgement is not one given upon by others, instead one thats given upon by oneself."

-Song-

The Greenie Monster!

Funny, we're all under food crisis. The tsunami of hunger. What saddens me is not what's happening around the world but in-fact; the ignorance of people. when the the food crisis rhapsody appeared on the newspaper i went around telling people about, in hopes of exchanging our views on this matter but what came back from them was actually, "SO?" I was like WHAT THE!? Don't You people have any sense of compassion? Atleast for the WORLD you are living pathetically in! I mean come on, we're all living on the same piece of land, a land thats divided all around a sphere of water!

Why divide yourselves even more by secluding yourselves to your on perspective self! This is why our whole is in desperate need of IMMEDIATE JUDGEMENT. Or rather End it SOON! 

The more i see the more dis-hearted i feel. The things happening around the world, i know its not up to me to speak upon anything but still; even if i were to speak who will be willing to even spare an ear, who will be self-less enough to consider the little petition of a nobody, someone so small to an almost invisible point. I rest my case. 

Well still im proud to say that im one of the ACTIVE and DEDICATED members of the SAVE- ENVIRONMENT team or what i would to call personally the PLANET HEROES! mwahaha.. Makes me a greenie,  STILL! Its the new upcoming TREND! Mark my words man! Whats in will be GREEN!

HAPPY EARTH DAY!!!!!! WHOOooOOO!!

Bdae 2008!

My pre-birthday!

Had an amazing day today. Did an outing with a few of my frens in sunway. Though its a really simple one, but wow turns out that its the best one so far. Never had that much fun before. For my part i spent only $20 today, both of my frens gave me a budget of $10 each because they didnt buy me any presents lol. Though it wasnt much but i felt really really happy!

Went around sunway, talking as we went. Exchanging our point of views in life. Was really interesting. I realize something, things doesn't have to be complicated or whatever to be perfect. Today was this very day, simple yet perfect.. .. ..

An ironic tale of love.

Love died hanging on a dying tree. The branches supported the dying heart, drinking from its fluid that the tree began to live again. Like a miracle that fell from the sky once a millennium. Its bark that was of a grayish white started to hissed and whisper as it faded; contrasting it was the bright color of brown. It was coming to life.....

Suteki Da Ne?

Living in a world ever passing so harshly yet unknowingly, time and time again; breathing the same air everyday; living our lives under the same sky. The night yet ever so silent, embracing the winds that brush coldly on our window panes. Times and places share a same bond that captures our memories. Whether memories of happiness or sadness, through good or bad, with friends or solitude; they will always be there. Time and time again, present will fade into memories.

How can we preserve the elements we used to look back in our book of memories. Make it last, live not just in memories but in the present too. Nothing last forever, eternity is a lie. But, at least we tried to enjoy every last moment of it. Are these effort not enough to bring back the good old times. The laughter we used to share? The tears we used to shed? I had always imagine myself in a world of nothing but pure imagination, a place of dreams. Where friendships really meant well. Things that do last, and choices that determines how it will be. A world where fate is entirely in our hands. You choose to be what you want to be. Of course, you will have to work for it; still through this times, these experiences, it will be the memories we may one day look back TOGETHER and share the same laughter.; and continue making them.

Playing RPGs like Final Fantasy has always been my main reason and energy as to why friends are part of my flame. The characters in the story share a bond so strong that it is in-fact touching. I finally realized the reason behind Final Fantasy's fame; apart from all the vast game-play and world designs, its the story-line that captures us; whether or not, consciously or subconsciously. The times they shared throughout the story-line, the bond the had; truly truly amazing. No wonder its a fantasy; cause true lasting friendships like this is nothing more than just a fantasy. Its existence is present only in dreams.

Friends, Suteki Da Ne?

Safe in a Crazy World. .

What is going on with the world recently? Things certainly are going way off point. Lines of the intimidated. What more can i give? Everyones just moving and behaving like devils nowadays, where has our morales gone to? HAve we exchanged the hearts of pure with hearts of the great deep?

Have we no shame? Yet things are still continue-ing. Its like we're taking the long detour towards honor. Well through shame that is. After edison chen's incident. Lotsa weird weird stuffs starting to happen. WHY LAH! Don't know why, been feeling so much anger recently. Its like its about to explode any moment. Or worst its leaking, and revolving around me, taking form of my other self. My darker unknown self. IM just so paranoid of tall the things around me. Skpped school today for that reason and mainly because i wasnt feeling well. I mean who would when you have to faced FUCKED up ppl everyday. And hear their god forsaken voices.

im trying so hard to get a good look on how things are going to be and going on. BUt its seems that sometimes there are stuff in which it is impossible grasped. Things which are inevitable. I just feel so UGH!! lately. Wana kill everyone around me. ARGH! What am i doing lah? so... weird im acting so weird.

Anyways, just though of this new character for my story. Hmm a very cool guy, doesn't talk much. Has a younger brother following him everywhere he goes. They are orphans apparently. They are the survivors of a very sad past. His younger brother is usually blindfolded while his other brother does all the killing, as he doesn't his brother to see the blood of his enemies or something. ITs still a very draft idea. will finalize him soon. very soon.

Met up with kenn the other day. Hmm, gee his quite cute actually. I don't know. Maybe things are finally starting to change? who knows god knows...

Valentines with bottled up Feelings.

February 14th; a day celebrated and loved by all. A day to share love among friends. But somehow today seem like a day of bottled up feelings, feelings that were kept bottled up since way back. Speaking of which its been 2 days since Lam went to aust. Really weird not seeing him around in school; seeing him disturbing gals during recess. Ahh, been two days yet still theres no news.

Whenever i walk past his class, i was so hoping to hear his voice; his laughter and all. Its just so weird to have that feeling. To have someone leave. Though i don't really know him well; still his a good friend, a very good one indeed. Saying goodbye really is the hardest word. I would never forget that day, the day of many partings; February 12th. Dramatic it was in the airport. Went round the airport doing crazy stuff; cam whoring here and there. After we said our final goodbyes. exchanged hugs and there he went, down the escalator and we were chasing him from above. Running and running as he walked into the custom. Was actually holding my tears then, really wanted to cry but i can't afford to let him see my tears. It wasn't because its embarrassing, but because if he were to see, then saying goodbye would be even harder for him and maybe for us. Well. Sarah cried apparently, cant blame her though, as everyone was already on the verge of crying too.

After that day; it was back to school all over again. Things seemed normal at least. Except of course; Lam. Its amazing and sometimes saddening as to how things progresses in life. Things tend to change so sudden and dramatically. Sometimes its sickening.

Today in class, i felt really annoyed, pissed and angry. Mainly at myself or at someone. I can't believe i've been so stupid. There are times when you tired so hard and give so much to a person but in return they don't even at least PRETEND that they appreciate. They made it as if its what you should be doing. Sometimes you just try so hard to be a friend, in the end your just a trend. Something of no importance; that will change and disappear through time. Its just so DISGUSTING and IRRITATING to be in such situations. You just feel like destroying everything; "COME LETS BLOW HIM UP!" such seductive lines floating gently in my mind.

Why lah, do people have BIG EGO-es <------ ITs just so sickening. Typical teenagers; trying so hard to be cool. They think they ARE cool; they think they ARE everything. So FULL of themselves SO naive. Why, can't i just find a life time bud? DAMN!

Happy valentines everyone! Well today really is a valentine full of bottled up feelings. Will update soon with pictures of our airport expedition!

Here comes pressure all over.

Sometimes you just get all emo and feel like slitting your throat or your wrist, with all that amount of blood rushing out through your cut like tap water; maybe just maybe it could help. Schools starting, new year's holiday is up. Its now time to WORK WORK WORK. Aww never liked schools to begin with; considering the different different varieties of people ou have to face everyday. There are times where you just feel like locking yourself in your room; with your radio turned on LOUD! And possibly just stare into space, or what they call emo the whole bloody day.

Free-will's a powerful thing or maybe just too powerful? Decisions sometimes drives people nuts! But still what really drives people through the wall aint all this, but PEOPLE themselves!! The horror the pressure the sickness of it; sometimes you just get so tired. I don't know why, somehow i just don't feel like going back to school, especially now. I don't know why? Or maybe i DO know. I had thought this year to be a great year, or rather expected it to be. But noooooooooo; the tides are turning. I cant help but to carry some sort of a "OMG! SOMETHINGS GONNAA HAPPEN!" kinda feeling inside of me; turning everything upside down. Maybe im just being sensitive? But i thought it was human's nature to be sensitive?

Im happy, im not happy and im happy AGAIN and then not!! Blah blah blah, it goes on and on. OR maybe im just a coward; facing yet fearing. Fear is good; it causes you to tremble the warriors tremble. But why? Can i not have emotions? at least for a day? Just a day?

Im lost; really lost. There maybe just too many things for me to think about; to do; to settle. just so many.......

A day in CARREFOUR!

Spent a day in carrefour earlier today, with wai lam of course. MWahaha crazy crazy day. Suffice to say im now at his hse, and its around 12.33am in the morning, and if im able to blog at this time then surely i have a computer right in front of me right? lol i know i know, the last time i check i havent yet got my comp so TA DA here i am, spending the night over with wai lam.

The day was spent drifting torlleys down in carrefour, qhich of course attracted many queer eyes. Crazy running about trying to cath each other was rather fun, at least it made me felt young ONCE AGAIN!! MWahahaha i mean really really young lol.

HAiz, just so weird that after all this; there wont be any of that anymore. His going away. As mention on my earlier post, his the one friend thats going off to australlia for good. MAn, goodbye really is the hardest and saddest word. Cant there be a hello thereafter again?

Imagine, you're talking with someone today and hang out and it was really really fun, a few days later. HIs not there anymore. I know its not as if his dead but im sure gona miss his prersence. Well im preparing something for his farewell. SOmething memorable. that he can see eveyrtime when he misses the memories he had here. MOre to say a recollection of everything, well maybe not EVERYTHING; but everything to what i have.

Well, today i really really really felt what it was like being in his family. HAha, or what it was like being him. Man, the emptiness is catching up upon me. There will always be a time when we have to part. ITs the Day of many partings, once again. Firends come and go as they say, but no way. Go or not, he will always remain a wonderful bro to me. Love ya mate! GO BECOME AND AUSSIE BUT DONT GET STING BY A STINGRAY JUST LIKE STEVEN IRWIN! Mwahahahahahahahah i knnow.. aww man seriously gonna miss him man. Well i hope there will come a time for partings and many many many many reunions!

ALl the best to you mate! AYE AYE!

Untitled.

Aww man, im getting a flu. Lalala. My sexy flu voice is calling to me. Mwahahaha. I sound sexy when i get flu. especially when i sing. Nah nothing but mere words of flattery trying just to cheer myself up. There are more things to give attention to then myself these days or rather. Busy are the days of seniorism. MOre and more work of pressure but especially ones that never comes with joy.

What wonders there maybe that fills this place, silent is the ticking of time. I cant see whats footing around path astray. MAny happenings of late that confuse and never abides. Ones that go seemingly out of control in many ways than one; in ways that one may never know of.

The world cracks with excitement, songs of no reason. Sung by fools of the night. Crazy are times these days. Never ending errands that tire the soles of travellers on the path that never ends. ...

Smile!

Wow, some crazy ass year 2008 is. Incredible the is way of life this year, seemingly wonderfully hectic. Just a mere fraction of the total amount of homework is already enough to make you go crazy and stress all day.

Well, no matter how stressful in times or situation, try very hard to smile. It works everytime. Take a deep deep breath and release very very slowly. Imagine all inpurities and anger or whatsoever flowing slowly out of you. Well if it still doesnt work you could try KILLING someone. LOL

Good Byes the hardest word.

Just learnt that a good friend of mine is leavin. Ya i know sad sad news. Turns out that his leaving for Australia on th 15th of Feb. Haiz. gonna seriously miss him man. ITs just hard ya know, all this while, so used to seeing him n hearing his voice, imagine after the 15th, there wont be any of that anymore.

I dont know why but maybe recently i've been so stressed over meetings and plus i just learned the news yesterday, i literally broke down and cried. Really gonna miss him man.

Good Byes really the hardest word. Will update more soon .

(P.S i just hate saying goodbye.)

Pressure Pressure.

ITs only the first official week since school started, yet pressure's already catching up on me. Its over my head, pressing hard. Work work work, so much to do especially when i have to finish up the "50 karangan" that i owe. Serious business man. MAn.. and trees too. big events are coming up. meetings and more meetings would be the case plus more and more plannings. Lalala what a way to go, but come to think of it, its actually kinda fun considering the fact that whatever thats happening here revolves around my interest field, well except the karangan part lol. I mean who would actually seriously consider copying karangans as their interest?

Well, other than work, it all comes down to coming of age pressure. Lala im not sure about alot of things, ever so suddenly perhaps, maybe im losing my mind? Life is like a roller coaster ride. Up and down sometimes even through loops. Explains our teenage raging hormones causing u to have weird weird fantasies. *tell me bout it.

Life as a senior.

Life as a senior and the fact that its the last year in school would be somewhat different than the previous years. More pressure or maturity? More freedom or fun?
Hard to say hard to say.

Life is definitely getting real hectic this year. Especially when its SPM this year. The war of the students will come. "The shroud of the darkside has just fallen, began the student wars has." There will come a day where hope seems lost, heros will fall. And yet it will also be the time where many will find courage to face their darkest fears; SPM.

Time to seek new ways and new counsel is at hand. Work forth against the pressing time, return not the old ways but come anew. Great perils lies ahead.. . .will update soon..

been a while.

Its been a while. Nothings change; 2007 finally wrapping up to make way for 2008! Ahh the horror. Come to think of it, its spm next year. Wonder if i will be able to pass expecially when my BM sucks to a certain degree of mere beyond possibilites. Imma goner! Give me hearties mates! Aww man just wanna go through next year QUICK QUICK QUICK! and get high school over with!

College college! Seems like the awaitin paradise of nuthing but freedom and perhaps temptations! I foresee a flying here n there shawn in the coming years. Never stationary in one place or another. Always bouncin around like usual "Huu Huuu HUUU! Its Tiggger BOUNCIN TIME!" Bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy!



Time bounded in time,
Sphere of rusted dime,
the days speaks haste,
from phase to phase.

Cherry blossoms in the coming spring,
or was it autumn that took its beauty.
of laughter and regrets,
pollution and corruption,
Left with emptiness and the chills of the wind,
Filling up the voids long exist.

Upon the changes of season,
creeping in the color crimson..
Come the end of days,
to face our last phase. . .

Hear the sound of the hints,
Where nothing seems to mean,
to a place where nuthing seems.
a world that never was. .

Ring Out The Bells!

Troubles troubles,
on the doubles,

Haste in the spring,
gone like a print,

Hourglass of days,
cast aside like hays;

Promised ways,
or mere play?

Change is at hand,
but reluctant I am;

Right or wrong?
yet its just a song,

Was it time of days,
or days that timed?

Things feel so blocked,
Like birds that flew in flocks.

Take time to rest?
or to confess?

Was it not feelings,
that took the prime prince?

Cursed the days may be,
blinded my eyes may be,

Give up will not,
or be tying the knot.

CHRISTMAS IS NEAR!!

The Creator ( NEW PROJECT!)

Some might find this drawing very Final fantasy well.. ya your right i got the inspiration from final fantasy. haha anways.. still works for me! HA!

Allright guys, this is my new project that i have been working on. Im sort of trying to maintain the concept of the original project "Forbidden Element" while bringin it to a whole new level. I dont know how to describe but this is the draft summary of it. ENJOY!


.:: The Creator ::.

Tore is one troubled teen in his sixteens,facing lives obstacle while trying to cope with his solitude. Tore may seem like any other teenager but there is more than ordinary behind that dark messy hair of his. Times are usually spent reading and writing about worlds he imagined and stories that flutters with fantasy. One day, he found an old note book while on his way home from school. Pitying the old notebook, he decided to bring it home. After all, the notebook was unusually well to his liking. As usual he started drafting on another story set in a world called Craetia. It wasn't long before he began writing it in the old notebook he found.

Things became very queer one particular afternoon where he met a car accident while heading home from school. Apparently he was rushing home to finish the last few pages of his story. There were flashes of light and soon things started to blur until there was nothing but darkness...

Tore soon find himself waking up underneath a great shady tree.Miles and miles of grassland surrounded him, his eyes raced across the green land until finally a huge metropolis came slowly into view. HE was in a place he had never been, it wasn't long before Tore realized the familiarity behind this strange place. For what he saw was more than just any grassland or city, but a world he created, a world by the name of Craetia.

"How did he end up in this place?" "Is this real or was everything about his life before he woke up in this place a dream?" Tore now search desperately for answers, exploring a new world or possibly a new life. He will soon discover that he possesses
a very powerful element or what would be later known as the Forbidden Element and that he must learn to control it and learn to be who he was, a Creator.

Our story is set in a world filed with fantasy, friendship, courage and love.

" A boy seeks desperately for answers, but he will soon realize
That he is actually lost withing himself."

Just got off..

Just got off a conversation with Shawn . Obviously he called, seriously i do not know what is the purpose behind that call. Because he seem to be crapping bout himself more rather than chatting with me. All bout how EXPOSED he was after having to contact with the working world and stuff and that my brain had its probs tonight. How unexposed i was and YADA YADA YADA. I think we ALL GET the picture dont we?

Its 5 plus and im still up. Well for "normal" poeple, they get up usually around this time. the only difference being, i stayed up while they got up. C-U-T-E! Aww man im so so so so hungry right now, i feel like i could swallow a cow whole. Went out "yum sui" with kev, sim n mandy. just now. ( i think i ACCIDENTALLY consumed caffeine ; or i wouldn't be in this hyped up pathetic don't know what else to crap state.)

Apologies my fellow blog readers for my infrequent updates. Though i am trying very hard to blog every so and then. You know me, my blogs and posts aren't usually bout what happen to me or what i did everyday. but more to the philosophical stuff. Stuff to do with what i think rather than what i do. So for that would seriously need inspiration and and time to make it happen. Yup you've guessed it, bottom line, NO FREQUENT updates from here on. really Sorry but the thing is i don't have a comp at home,( ya i know the shame.... ARGH!)But i do guarantee a SUPER DUPER long post whenever i get the chance to blog. At least to make up for my soon to be infrequent update habit.

Wow i have to say. Its December already. Such haste in the passings of time,So many moments filled with no matter anger, sadness or joy are now slowly flowing away down in the river of time. Things are certainly different now, as it may seem. But i cant help but to feel that i am like a stone in the river of time, ever so reluctant to move along with the currents.

I would be expecting next year with a few major changes. Things arent really going especially when your monkeying around. peoples change ya that certainly the truth, i accept that but why change to be an annoying person rather than a better person? I just wanna enter next year as someone whose hardly noticeable. Be able to slip through next year with haste.And of course say farewell to highschool.

Don't know why, somehow I've learn yet another few things in life. well although recently. " Silence is Golden" , "defeat is Victory". haha im sure evryone knows the first one so i shan't be touching on it but the latter. " Defeat is victory" Well in some situation, admitting defeat is actually the way to win. Like for example, in arguments going with the flow and not arguing may prove flawless in the long run. After all, they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. LET THE FUTURE AND THE RESULTS DO THE TALKING!. I realized that somehow being too competitive makes you proud, and its not really a good thing.The higher you climb the harder you fall. SO will shall see where the path of our choices leads us shall we? TO sucess or failue i dare not say. Still be weary of unexpected things . Things that can never be seen or calculated.

Right, I shall pen off here.(pen off? WTH! More like fingers off... haha) Fear not for this is not the only post i will be posting. There will be more regarding bout my new upcoming project "Creator", will explain more on the next post. FYI i have canceled the original project "Forbidden Crisis" Like i Said will explain more on the next post. Adios n good night!

Dream with no happy endin. . .

The night was cold, neither the stars nor the moon were barely present. Fog of the night crowded the sky, denying it of its usual soft glow. All creatures had already retreated back into their slumbers while the nocturnal roams. Through a small compact window; a boy laid comfortably in his cosy nest. Yawning, he punched his pillow and retired for the night; for what seems to be yet another pleasant night.

There were few moments of deep thoughts, where the happenings of day flashed one after the other. Dreams...

Haha went kenpachi for some japanese cuisine today. Didnt really know what to eat so merely just ordered the Chicken Teppenyaki; am i spelling it right? Cause it doesn't feel right, at least to me. Well who cares anyway, There were alot of japanese there., i mean to my amazement they were talking very fast, like some unknown foreign language, (erhem- shawny they are speaking foreign language like HELLO? its JAP!?) Right, while eating, i can't help but to wonder, what would it feel like if i was living in japan, would everything be like that? At most similar to the situation around. Haha

THE REVENGE OF THE NUGGET-SITH!! (Coming Soon!)

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away..... (trumpets playing) The city of Nuggetron is in danger, as the political council of Nuggetron fought for the Democracy, the long awaited prophecy; the arrival of what they call the Dark One. It is said that in times of desperation, the Dark One will rise to claim what is his.

While the Nuggetron's are busy holding their walls against the NeggePretist, the Chancellor NuggePaltine had been kidnapped by the Evil lord Count Nuggekoo. It was a dangerous mission but in desperation, two noble Nugge-jedis, Nuggekin Nuggetwalker and Master Nuggiwon Neggenobi set off to rescue the Chancellor.

What lies beyond is still a mystery. The prophecy also said that Neggetron will be saved by the Nugget Monster presumably the young Nugge-jedi, Nuggekin Nuggetwalker. This young nugge-jedi has much to learn, his anger is his only weakness, for a young lad, afterall its typical. "Hmm, Shroud in darkness is whats lies ahead. " said wise Master Nugge-oda.

And continue the meaningless nugget wars will, unaware of the great plot that will soon turn the tides of the battle. It will be the Revenge of the Nugget-sith!

A Magical day In Genting.

It was a magical day in genting. Went for this magic show with shawn n his family. It was really.. hmm how ter say? Cute? Haha i mean at least i got a better understanding on how Shawn's 'world' really felt like. It was..haha i don't really know how to describe it but oh what the heck it was a day filled with laughter, friendly arguements and so on. Really cool lad to hang out with. Although sometimes it might be alittle bit difficult to understand this guy and how everything around him works; still come to think of it, what bout me? How many people in this world understands bout me and how things work around me? Its best that not all thoughts and interest are the same; at least there would be some fundamentals in it. At least there would be somethings for me to look forward to, to explore.

Back to topic, the magic show was brilliant!!? Loved the enthusiasm, the passion and of course their MAGIC. It was really really really a fun filled day. Not no mention that the HOST of the show, Jeff Civillico; is a brilliant entertainer! His my man! lol.
Anyway, the bottom line is, i really love the times when we hang out. Cool dude; peace out.

Cybertron!!

Cubetron, a skyscraper made solely out of nothing but cubes. Way to go. Took it in Shawn's house the other. He was somehow encouraging me to take up cubing. Trying hard not to disappoint him; i took a cube and tried but with no avail. It took me less then a min to figure out a better way to play with the cubes, FOO LAH! Check out above picture. One of the towers from Cybertron; the planet Transformers were originally from. lol.

Anyway, i was wondering, have any of you; loyal blog readers of mine ever experienced the feeling of disappointing someone? Well, i kinda have this kinda feeling lately that i've been letting a lot of people down. I just don't know why. I mean its no big at first but its starting to bother me. Am i hurting the ones around me? My closest buds? Geez. But sometimes in life, when it comes down to making decisions its like i have to choose between friends or my family. Its really hard. I got so freaking puzzled today that i didnt know what to do. I had no choice but to summon "him" i remembered clearly, he mocked me at first but, after he asked me a question(or issit a statement?) anyway he said; sometimes in life its not but your wants, you have enough of that, its now time for you to decide if its a want or a need.

Well i thank him for that, i got through. Sorry guys for letting you down. You know who you are!

A sleep over.

Its 5.a.m in the morning; and guess what? IM straining my almost sleeping self or what ya call subconcious self infront of my friends computer typing what i like to call a post? And where does this kinda posts normally ends up? Yup thats right the BLOG!!! Yay! After 3 years of blogging I still find it amusing. Blogging never seem to bore me. ITs always so full of surprises, well though im usually the one posting up the surprises but hey my very surprises suprises me! Which is why its so amzing!

Alright, i know its rubbish or what Ainaa like to call arsed! MEans chicken shit, thats what she told me. I linked her today, and saw her blog. Shes seriously a very very good writer. Her grammar rocks, vocabs danced. I love her man. Guys guys do check out her blog though its on the right hand side of the panel under links. i repeat, her names Ainaa.

I havent been sleeping well lately and plus its 5am in the morning and im still not sleeping. IM blogging and filming some cubics blindfold solve along with shawn. Hey hey hey dont get me wrong yah. Im not the one solving the cube, its shawn. Ya ya my names shawn, but his names shawn too. haha funny lad, love him.

I noticed a common habit in all blogger is that, their post are mainly bout their lives, what happened during their daily activities. Nomatter sad or happy that is, its all written serving as a dairy or something. But, nowadays, blogging isnt just that. ITs something more than that maybe something that concerns stuff that happens around the world, around people or maybe ones perspective view bout something. Blogging's and ART.

HA! Sorry guys, upon writing to this moment, i sort of figuredd that maybe just maybe this post is a mess. My minds going so random right now. Its like all my brain cells are flying and bouncing around in my brain. Imagine having jumping beans inside your head.LOL.

This post is for nuts. Possibly maybe just for laughs for me maybe at a later date when i finally look back into my old post and go " MAN! i WROTE THAT?!" yeah that oughta be cool. NItes

Weird weird sign, Fun Fun Day!

lol went golf-ing the other day and came across this sign while collecting my golfballs. Thought it was pretty funny. so posted it up here. Cute...!

a dye to Auburn Light!

Dyed my hair recently, to a light auburn brown color. Hmm have to say, i love it! ahha they say my new hair color makes my complexion looks fairer! haah. Thats certainly good news. You know i had always thought that guys with TANNED complexion looks nice. But, not as nice as guys with fair i guess. WEll what ever it is, the bottomline is, i LOVE MY NEW HAIR COLOR!!! whooO!

Went to my class party yesterday well, haha. IT was fun.. had tat cookie tower with ainaa. Took tons of pics with hot gals.. Haha now thats the kinda life man. After the party we sort of like went shopping in Subang Parade, i mean what the heck, swesens is in Subang Parade mah. So suffice to say; it was necessary. Went walking around from shops to shops. Testing and trying out clothes with no intention of buying them. Some say thats very very CHEAP but HEY! We all need shopping lists Right? Doesnt hurt if we just try it on; i mean what are the fitting rooms for then? PLEASURABLE VEIWING ONLY? lol. Then we went on into parkson and came across the Padini section. Saw some really really cool tux and decided to try it on; me, isaac and joshua.
We were like..' WHOAh Whoah WHOAh; lets take a pic damn cool man'. Im thinkin almost the whole parkson heard us. BUt cant help it, the tux were like so so so COOL!

hmm Wee.. Class party today as well as adventure in Subang Parade

Halloween

Halloween, Halloween
A night full of creepy scenes.
by the window, a creature was seen
a figure of a boy with many sins;
and he was dancing with the wind.

Moon shone her best,
Revealing little by little,
his darkness crest ,
embeded in his hollow chest.

the night was long,
and things felt so gone.
Just when you thought things
couldnt go wrong,
he sang a song.

"Dance dance dance!
With a heart so cold;
Is the numbness real
or is the emptiness true?

I have lived my life as a son,
but i didnt died as one.
The world is so cruel;
yet im such a fool.

A fool to be dancing
with the wind.
Dance dance dance!"

As he finished,
his body blemished;
oh such, what was left of him.
yet he heart still cherished,
the memories he brought
to his resting place;

The wind howled;
and he slowly bowed,

he cried his last;
which reverbrated throught the night,
Halloween oh Halloween!

CheesSY!